Under the Sun

Doctrine

2012-01-20T17:17:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 27:14-17

¹⁴ He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning,
It will be counted a curse to him.
¹⁵ A continual dripping on a very rainy day
And a contentious woman are alike;
¹⁶ Whoever restrains her restrains the wind,
And grasps oil with his right hand.
¹⁷ As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

Most of the time when I read Proverbs, I feel like the author spent several days at the death beds of various elderly people and wrote down whatever they said, in the order that they said it, with many breaks and pauses in between. Or he took a bunch of fortune cookies and opened them all and wrote what he found.

Obviously I'm kidding. Proverbs is way better than what you open in a fortune cookie. However, I did recently open one that said, "You will inherit some money or a small piece of land" and I'm holding on to that one.

MY POINT: Verse 17. A widely quoted verse about Christian fellowship and it's benefits, or at least we look at "sharpening" as a benefit. But first, think about this. Think about the sound of one piece of iron scraping against another piece of iron. Yikes. Now think about two dull pieces of iron being scraped together so frequently that they become sharpened pieces of iron. That leaves a lot of shavings of iron on the ground. Not exactly a pleasant process.

Okay, NOW. Think about the verses in Proverbs that precede Proverbs 27:17. Don't worry, I'll recap.

So you've got your obnoxious friend next door that loves to bless you early in the morning with a loud voice. Curse him. You've got the contentious woman who is like the continual dripping of rain and trying to restrain her is like restraining the wind or catching oil in your hand, which if you need to know, doesn't work very well... i.e. at all.

NOW, follow all of that absolute frustration with verse 17.

¹⁷ As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. (NKJV)

So one man sharpens another (NASB)

Are you pickin' up what I'm putting down?

Fellowship with believers is the epitome of frustration. Because of the diversity of humanity, we are all bound to be completely frustrated with other believers. Specifically in our doctrine. We all believe (hopefully) that Jesus is the son of the triune God. Jesus came to earth and became fully man, yet remained fully God, to take on the very real sins of humanity and relieve us from the very deserved punishment of hell, and no one can come to know the Father except through the Son. We believe that when Jesus left earth, he sent the Holy Spirit to guide us in all truth. These are closed handed issues. There is no wiggle room.

Then you have other doctrinal issues based on individual interpretations of the Word. These may or may not also be closed handed issues. It might be possible for us to go to heaven believing one point of view, while our brother or sister in Christ will also go to heaven believing the opposite point of view. I'm talking more or less about baptism of the Holy Spirit, women in leadership, drums in church, any kind of millennial views, or views on the specifics of creation, the list goes on and on.

While conflict makes my stomach do flips and turn in knots, I'm realizing that the very discussion of these issues with other believers is part of the act of "iron sharpening iron". It makes a horrible sound and there are remnants of iron everywhere (did that used to be attached!?) and the pieces of iron are really never the same again, but they are sharper. I guess we want sharp iron right? It doesn't sound desirable to be dull.

But not only could there be doctrinal differences among a spiritual family, but among a biological family too. That can be the most difficult idea to grasp. "We had the same parents! The same upbringing! How can you believe that there should be drums in the church service!?" But if God gave you different bodies, different personalities, different learning abilities, different names, wouldn't he maybe give you different points of view too? And how do we respond to that? How do we find unity among believers while we have disagreements among us?

Well?

What are you looking at me for? I don't know the answer.

But let me leave you with these two scriptural thoughts:

Philippians 3:15

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹⁵ Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you.

Acts 15

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹ While Paul and Barnabas were at Antioch of Syria, some men from Judea arrived and began to teach the believers: “Unless you are circumcised as required by the law of Moses, you cannot be saved.” ² Paul and Barnabas disagreed with them, arguing vehemently. Finally, the church decided to send Paul and Barnabas to Jerusalem, accompanied by some local believers, to talk to the apostles and elders about this question.

Maybe we agree to disagree.

And maybe we are only seeing in part.

And maybe we are just truly wrong.

Let the sharpening begin.

It was an ambush...

2010-11-09T14:43:00.001-08:00

After a weekend as terrible as THAT one just was, I'm taking some time to recover. I will go home from work tonight and put some laundry in, have a glass (or two) of wine, and either read and pray or put in an old favorite movie. Most likely I will read and pray and THEN put in an old movie. :)

I need comfort. I need pajamas. I need some chocolate. I need those crazy Native American boot/slippers that my brother got me for Christmas (picture to follow). I need alone time (true story).

I love Ethan. I do. I really do. I've said that I will marry him. I have consecrated myself to him in legal matrimony for the rest of my life... or at least I will in 163 days (but who's counting, right?).

This weekend we fought. More than usual. It was not loud arguing. It was not passionate discussion. It was not intense fellowship time. I would not water it down with any of those phrases.

It was fighting. We used fightin' words, we hit below the belt, we pushed each other (he figuratively pushed, I literally pushed him out of my way), and he walked out.

We are still getting married. We are still in love. But I am hurt. I didn't expect this. I mean, I sort of did, but I really didn't see it coming. I didn't think arguments would hurt this bad. I thought only breaking up would hurt this bad.

Father of peace, come and be with us! Come and minister to us both! Teach me to lay down my selfishness. Teach me to walk in your truth and not let the lies of the enemy be spoken from my mouth! Help me to pray and live a lifestyle of prayer. Help us to be more aware of the attacks of Satan and how he would use us to tear each other down.

Help me to build and altar, right here, right now, that represents the day I called on the name of the Lord for my marriage and my family. I need you Father. I need you to lead me. I long to serve you with my whole heart and my whole life. I want to declare your truth and reject the lies and speak only truth over myself and Ethan. Thank you God that you are completing this work in me.

I love you. I really do.

Celebrate Babies

2010-10-23T11:52:00.000-07:00

Last night, I got to spend time with some of the most amazing women I've met in a long time! I attended a "Celebrate Babies" party that was thrown for a dear friend of mine. This friend has 11 children. The 11th child was just recently born in and adopted from Florida. My dear friend also is expecting her 12th child to join the fun in February. :)

Among the gifts were clothes, diapers, a crib(!), soft sole shoes, lots of neat things. I was 1 of 2 women there who are not yet married and do not have children. Their wisdom is beyond me. Their ability to sacrifice sleep and privacy is heroic. Their sweet demeanor is genuine. Their humanity is full of grace. I had a moment.

THIS is what it will be like to sit and talk with all the saints who went before me! And THIS is a spirit of adoption being passed down from generation to generation. 3 of the women who attended had adopted children. One mom is a foster mom. All of them have upwards of 4 children living in their home. Amazing.

So it's little wonder to me that today when I was bumped into by a sweet bi-racial girl about 5 or 6 years old, I didn't doubt for a second that the Caucasian women behind her was her mother (the coordinating Mother/Daughter outfit helped too). Whether this little girl was born to this woman or adopted, I knew they belonged together. This is the spirit I'm surrounded by. I'm blessed to be among friends who have taught me thus.

Selah.

I stopped blogging because...

2010-10-22T12:52:00.000-07:00

Hi.

Sorry I was absent.

I promise to make up for it.

I stopped blogging because... my job was really stressful and I didn't have anything nice to say at the time. ("The time" being about a 4 month period)

I stopped posting because... I was spiritually stuck and didn't hear the voice of the Lord regarding, well, anything.

I stopped because... I'm a private person. I don't like having windows to my soul. I'm too proud.

Because... Ethan and I fight frequently and sometimes I already feel like the warm fuzzies are gone. (They're not, btw.)

Because... I didn't feel like I had anything worth saying.

Well.

My job is still stressful, but there is grace.

I'm not spiritually stuck, but I'm a little sluggish, but there is grace.

I'm still a private person, I'm still proud, but God said, "Open up! And THEN there will be grace." And there is even grace for opening up, as it turns out.

Ethan and I still fight, but, you guessed it. Grace.

I still don't have anything worth saying. It's all been done before. There is nothing new under the sun. But there is grace. Grace for an introvert to try to talk it out. Process out loud (who would want to do such a thing?).

Eoghan Heaslip has this song:

We find grace in the wilderness
Strength enough to sing of your unfailing love
You are close, closer than we know
There will be a day when all will be revealed

Closing thought
My friend interviewed to work for the company. She had one of the most amazing answers to one of the questions.
Question:
What motivates you to do your best at a job?
Answer:
My personal desire to live with integrity.

Let it be, God. Let it be in me.

I'm engaged!

2010-08-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

I'm going to post again. You just wait. It's going to happen.

I think it just did.

It takes time to get settled.

2010-04-07T13:33:00.001-07:00

So it's April! I'm pretty happy about that! The wedding craziness and shower busy-ness have subsided and the outlook is pretty bright!... I think.

Part of my problem right now is that I feel lost. I literally feel like I have lost my way. I feel like I wandered off the map. I am in uncharted waters. It's unfamiliar and uncharted.

See, I used to have a full-time job and I really liked it. I used to have a favorite grocery store and a workout routine. I used to live in a place that felt like home. All of these things were relatively new to me and therefore I was in unfamiliar territory but at least I was on the map. St. Louis still feels sooo much bigger to me than Joplin. I know that it IS so much bigger than Joplin but I just can't seem to get my bearings.

I know I said that God brought me to St. Louis... but maybe I was just delusional.

I thought maybe I'd be able to give this post a clever twist and make everything wrap up nicely at the end, but I can't. I'm struggling through my identity because it's taken me so long to finish school (not yet finished), because I left a great job in a lousy economy, because I don't feel inspired being in the House of Prayer, because I'm not my siblings, because I don't feel assured in the identity of my Father so how can I be assured in my own identity...

I need to have some grace for myself. I've only been here less than a year, about 10 months. It takes time to get settled.

Dedicated effort

2010-02-11T15:35:00.000-08:00

I try to keep up with this blog! Really I do! Okay, maybe I don't, but I have pretty good excuses. Yes, excuses, plural.

First excuse. Every time I sit down to write a blog I realize that I could be (should be) working on homework. So I promptly exit the blog site and login to facebook. This is a problem. I don't actually DO anything on facebook, I'm just there, not doing homework. To give myself a little credit, there are many times that I actually get homework done. But that was not the case for this last class that I took. It ended in failure and I was at a loss for a couple of days. But there is a quote that says, "Failure is an event, not a person." So I had a failure. But I am not a failure. My next attempt will be stronger and will end in success! I'm looking in to methods of boosting my energy levels (diet and dietary supplements especially) so that I don't feel like I need to sleep all the time! Because that is how I feel these days, quite literally, ALL the time. Especially in the winter! It's been this way for me since junior high and high school but I never had the clarity of mind to try to do something about it. So now I am. :o)

My second excuse is my new job. I started working at Cotton Babies Retail Store at the beginning of January. I work with customers for most of the day discussing the in's and out's of cloth diapering, baby clothes, nursing needs, postpartum care, and baby slings. It's a lot of fun to work there! I see lots of cute babies and lots of trendy pregnant momma's! I work mostly in the evenings, 3 or 4 days a week. I work with some extended family, so that's pretty enjoyable. We're planning a shower for Lauren on March 21st. It takes a village! I'm also getting ready for my best friend's wedding! She's getting married on March 13th! Very exciting! So once March is over, I'll feel less pressure. Come on April!!

My third excuse is GHOP. Gateway House of Prayer. We have a meeting tonight at 7pm so actually I have to leave the house as soon as I'm done writing this post! The official Staff Internship began this week and our first official meeting is tonight. A lot of the time, I sit down to write a post but I'm pulled away because I could be reading my Bible or working on a worship song or worship set list. I just took over a Tuesday morning intercession set and am leading a wonderful team of skilled musicians. I'm honored to be worshiping with them and hope that my skill level continues to increase as the set continues. God is good and he is bringing about the desires of my heart that he began in me some 5 or 6 years ago. I am seeing some of the prayers and cries of my heart come to fruition! It is good but it is hard because I did not realize the level of dedicated effort that was going to be required of me.

My fourth excuse is Ethan. :o) He is amazing. We've been dating since early January, about the same time that I started working at Cotton Babies. His house is 40 minutes away from my house, so that's obnoxious. But my work and GHOP are smack dab in the middle of our two houses, so that helps a little. With my busy schedule and his increasingly busy schedule, we have to actually schedule time to see each other. It's not as bad as it sounds because a lot of times we cheat and meet at a halfway point for a quick coffee or lunch! God is doing some cool and difficult healing type stuff through our relationship. We dig it, but it takes work to communicate our way through it sometimes. So with the minor "long-distance" aspect, we spend a lot of time on the phone. And I can barely chew gum and talk on the phone at the same time, so if I'm on the phone I'm getting zero work or blogging done. Thanks a bunch, sweetie! ;o) Just kidding.

Ethan and Jeanine, Midnight 1/1/10 (First date-ish)

Ethan and Jeanine, capturing the moment

So those are my excuses for not keeping this site up to date. I have a small break from school and at the end of the break I hope to be rejuvenated and ready to renew my dedicated effort and budget my time wisely! It can be done, I know it can! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...

Immersion in the Word

2009-11-29T21:38:00.000-08:00

Alright, alright! I'll admit! I fell off the bloggin' wagon! Things kind of picked up for a while and the pace was crazy! The only times I thought about blogging were the times that I was supposed to be writing a paper or turning in some other kind of homework. Even now I should be sleeping. :/

So let's see. Last blog October 7th. What has happened since then? Well, my sister and brother-in-law are expecting their first baby in June! So yay!
Right before Halloween I flew to L.A. to watch my cousin's baby while she recovered from surgery. That was a great trip! There are lots of pictures on facebook. Maybe I'll include a few of my favorites at the end of this post. That was my first time flying (that I can remember). I found out that I hate landing. Good to know.

Um. I started training at Touchpoint Center for Autism on the 13th of November. I have my first full shift tomorrow. It's a part time job and I hope to be able to replace it with something else within 6 months. I think I'm about to start doing part time staff related activities at the Gateway House of Prayer starting in January. I'm on a couple of intercession sets and looking in to a devotional set to stretch my piano playing and song leading abilities. I wrote a song! And I revamped/updated an older song I wrote at the Crossroad's House of Prayer! And I'm working on another one, but it's gonna take a lot longer to cook. And even then I don't know what will happen with it.

So that's some of the for real update mixed with some of the shallow stuff. Here's the big momma that is the only really real thing worth writing about and yet probably the least interesting to read.

Overall, I'm pretty unsatisfied. There's a Laura Hackett (IHOP-KC) song that came out called "There's a Gap" and the lyrics are spot on.

Right now my big life dilemma is understanding God's love for me. I am harsh with my self and hard on my self and generally just pretty hateful to myself and I don't know how I got to be this way. God did a wonderful work in me over the last 3 years or so to help me love others better. And that's been really great! I think if I didn't have that, I would have given up. Officially just quit life, in general, all of it, yes. But as great as that love for others is, I don't know how to love myself. I don't know how to believe that I am lovely/lovable etc. This problem presents itself primarily in the romantic front. I have a very difficult time understanding how so many people can "find love" and I can remain so utterly rejected. What could be so terribly wrong with me? If I truly am pretty enough on the outside, then I must not be pretty enough on the inside to hold someone's attention. My heart knows that can't really be true, but my head can't process an explanation for it. People wonder why I haven't been snatched up yet. It's a painful question and I wonder the same thing. I blame myself for a lot of things and one of the things is impatience. At one point or another I'll start to surround myself with people of godly character but after a short while I grow impatient and resort to cheap imitations to curb the disappointment. Waiting on God is difficult and I've only recently come to realize that He can even be trusted!

So obviously there are some lies floating around in there that I can't seem to expel by my own power and some of these things just take time. I try to explain to myself that it has something to do with God's timing and his sovereignty, etc. but that doesn't seem to make a difference in my belief system at this point. "There's a lack, there's a gap in my soul, between the things that I believe and I know," sings Laura Hackett, "What do I do here in the waiting? What do I do with my unsatisfied heart? What do I do here in the waiting, here in the tension of believing again and again and again?"

What do I do? Well I've been trying to study and trying to drown myself in the Word of God. Trying to devour as much of it as I can in a day, every day that I remember to do so. It's a slow habit forming process, but I'm seeing progress. There's still a tremendous temptation to use old methods of numbing out, but fortunately God saw that coming and plugged me in to an environment and community that I can't escape from unnoticed. Though sometimes I'd like to do so, I'm just sayin. That immersion in the Word is part of where the song I wrote came from. Immersion in the Word as well as union with the words from God that I have received over the last year. One of them being mercy and favor from the Lord and trust in the Lord, one of them being songs written in the night hours, and one of them being that he WILL reveal his love to me and let me grow up with that belief as a foundation and allow me to walk in that revelation.

Thanks for reading, I have to go to bed before I turn into a pumpkin! :o)

Petting a stingray!

Baby Deven and I at the beach!

Cousin Afshin and I at the concert!

THE wardrobe!!

THE In-and-out!

Tea time at the Botanical Gardens

Happy baby boy!

Nanny fairy and pumpkin baby!

Disneyland!

I feel greener already!

2009-10-07T13:36:00.000-07:00

So here's the scoop. The C family and the G family were looking at hiring somebody for 50 hours a week, minimum. The C family lives 40 minutes away and the G family has 4 kids. They both wanted crazy amounts of household management work to be done by the nanny while the kids are at school. It's all do-able, I would just be dead on my feet (maybe on my feet) after work and not able to do GHOP, homework, or have a life. So I turned down both job offers.

God moved me to St. Louis and so it is for God that I am here. I will not forget that. So whatever jobs are out there and available will be subject to his will, his desires, his commanding. His priority for my life is Him. Surprisingly (to me) he has kept me plenty busy without giving me a job. He has also managed to find work for me, without a job. I've been helping Lauren drive students around and work with students on service project days and SLU paid me for it. I've been babysitting for a friend in need of rest as her due date creeps closer and closer. I've been given gifts and invited to many different homes for meals. I was even offered a 2 week trip to L.A. to watch my cousin's baby while she recovers from surgery! Unfortunately her surgery was rescheduled so I don't think that will end up happening, but it was cool to have such an awesome opportunity dropped in my lap like that!

I have another nanny family opportunity. The F family has a baby and the mom's sister has a baby. They would like to hire one nanny to watch both babies 30 hours a week. The other job opportunity I have right now is through the Touch Point Center for Autism (formerly Judevine), either part or full time residential assistance.

School is dragging along. I've not been doing so hot in my classes lately. Hopefully the next class will be better. I bought my textbook online and my school now offers e-books! They are about 50% cheaper than the new books and have no shipping costs or taxes! And I'm sure it's a lot better for the environment. I feel "green"-er already!

That's all the update I have for now. No pictures this time. Maybe next time.

The C-family

2009-09-17T11:44:00.000-07:00

Things did go well with the G-family! I liked them a lot. As a first time nanny, their work load and job description seems really overwhelming. I would be making sure all the kids get to school, grocery shopping, picking up/dropping off dry-cleaning, returning unwanted clothes for the mom, getting bids on yard and household jobs, doing laundry, doing dishes, picking kids up from school, starting dinner, getting kids to piano, swimming, dance lessons/classes/team activities, sometimes making dinner. It's really close by and they seem like a great family, but I think I would crash and burn. There's no way I wold have enough energy to go to the House of Prayer and work on school work and try to have any sort of friends! I don't know.

Then there's the C-family. They have 2 kids who go to the same school, one of them is only half day. The mom does all the grocery shopping on the weekends. I would drive my own car and they do some sort of reimbursment. A day in their house sounds a lot more like what I would want to do. Breakfast for the boys, drop the older one off at school, reading and play time with the younger one, bath, lunch, drop the younger one off at school, laundry, some dishes, general straightening and organizing of closets, picking the boys up from school (same school), snack, homework, some kind of activity, sometimes some dinner prep. This job sounds a lot better but the only problem is that it is about 40 minutes away. The G-family is about 15 minutes away. Soo.... I'm praying that I would be open to waiting on the Lord for the right job. I have to commit to a family for a year at least so I need a job that is at the right level and the right speed for me! Hopefully all of next week I will be the temp nanny for the C-family and get to "test them out" and see if they fit or not. If it's a good situation I think I will take it, if not, God will provide the right one.

If you pray for me, pray that I would not be impatient as I wait on the Lord. There's a song by my friend Bizzy that has that exact line in it and I've been singing it to myself everyday! My prayer is that I would just wait in the presence of God to receive the good things that He has waiting for me and that I would not impatiently try to make things happen on my own! Mostly this applies to the job arena and in the romantic relationship scene. I don't have any romantic relationship prospects, so don't start any rumors, but if I got impatient enough I'm sure I could find something (someone) completely inadequate and outside of God's plan! (Not a good idea.)

Here are some pictures that you may have already seen on facebook! :o)

Galen, Adam, Lauren, Elias, Alex, and I at the Preston Wedding! July 5th, oh happy day!

Baby Arthur Preston and I at Hannah (my roommate) and Abby's (his mom) b'day party!

He's just a sweet little tree frog!

SOOO CUTE!

My friend Princess Elisabeth Sipe came running to me to say hello! What a doll!!

The sun was a little bright and the camera kept trying to focus on Ariel's face on the balloon hat!

Elisabeth was having a little trouble making the peace sign, so I helped.

Labor Day picnic at church.

The G-family

2009-09-09T10:52:00.000-07:00

This blog may or may not survive. I'm just being honest! I try to update it on Sundays when I am the least busy, but Sunday afternoons are when I am the most tired and the least creative. I could update it on other days of the week, like I'm doing now, but there is always something else I should be doing! Like today, I should be reading for school. My class started yesterday. Bleh! But I only have a year left!! And then... ... ...it will have been a year. I'm probably going to slow down for a minute and just rest in the fact that I got my Bachelor's and never thought I would! Then after that little siesta maybe I'll have some brilliant plan of education reform and revival in America. Stay tuned for that.

In other news, I interviewed with a mom about working as her nanny. She has four kids, three of which are in school M-F 8-3, and one of which is in preschool part-time. So the job is full time but pretty chill! There'll be some crazy running around in the afternoon from time to time. Piano lessons, ballet, swim team. It'll be good though! The interview went really well with the mom and I'm going to her house on Sunday night to meet her husband and spend some time with the four kids! There is another family requesting an interview with me but hopefully things go well with the G-family (the four kid family, last name starts w/ a 'G') and I can cancel the other interview! :o)

House of Prayer stuff is going well. It's good to pray and God is always good to meet us there. I got there the other night and I was in a terrible mood! I had just woken up from a nap that was too short and was tired from running around at the Labor Day picnic. It also just so happened that I encountered one or two rather insensitive Christian brethren that day and I just cried when I got to the GHOP set because I didn't feel like praying for Christians! :o( But my team (and sister) were good to me, comforting me and telling me that I didn't have to feel like praying for Christians, but I would have to anyway... or something along those lines sort of! ;oD And God is so gracious, like I said before. He really met me where I was and showed me some of the richness of his glorious mercy! He loves his people and I love them too. From time to time, feelings get hurt. It's just the way it is. But that is behind me now!

So that's just a little of what is going on with me. I joined a co-ed soccer league and we have a game on Thursday night, I think. It's our first game and I'm looking forward to it! The team is a lot of fun and I think we might actually be good! :o)

Nanny family

2009-08-30T19:13:00.000-07:00

PRAY conference is over and I don't have the words to come close to summing up or desribing my experience with it. The speaker was Abu Bako and the word of the Lord came forth!

I got a call from a nanny family on Saturday. It's the first call I've gotten. They have 2 children, need me full time, and live in South City. I have yet to actually speak to the mom and see about setting up an interview, because we've been playing phone tag.

That's all for now. This chilly weather makes me sleepy!

The street where I live

2009-08-23T13:12:00.000-07:00

Pictures make a blog more interesting! So here you go!

This is my big window! It doesn't open, but I still like it! I have another smaller window that opens and keeps my room the coolest in the house! I want to get a chair for reading in and looking out of my window onto the street where I live.

This is my bed. It's made!! I have pieces of cardboard under the wheels to keep it from sliding around and ruining the floor completely. In the corner is my tower of boxes. Sometimes at night it looks like a giant box robot! But I'm not scared.

There's my desk and exercise ball! Lauren and I both use exercise balls for our "office chairs." We never even talked about it. Weird, sister vibe! You can see the dining/living "room," or more like a nook. It's a little sad not to have a real living room or dining room. I've gotten spoiled by the places I have lived in Joplin!

Here is my bookshelf with lots of books and pictures on it. You can see my pile of clothes to hang on top of my basket of misc. shoes. There's Dad's old guitar in the corner. I don't play guitar.

And here's the wall with both of my windows! The weather has been beautiful and so we've had the windows open! Like I said, my room stays the coolest. I also hear a lot more of the noises of the street than Hannah does.

I hear the cars go by. Sometimes I hear the tires screech because the cross street stop sign is hidden by a tree. I hear the music wafting up to my window as the cars go by. Usually it's some Reggaeton or Tejano and I have to give a little wiggle to the beat! Sometimes it's "Stanky Leg" and then I just gotta get up and move!

I hear the voices of the people walking by. Usually they are yelling, but it's not because they are angry, they just yell. Sometimes to each other, sometimes on their cell phone, sometimes as they freestyle about that girl they met last night. She didn't seem like the kind of girl I would like to make lyrics about, but it was a catchy hook!

Surprising I still hear cicadas from time to time! For my friends in Joplin, a cicada is kinda like a big locust type bug. You don't hear them as much in Joplin as you do in St. Louis area. I don't really remember hearing them in Joplin at all. Must be all the pesticides the farmers use. Less farms around here, I suppose.

I'll probably post again tonight about the real things that are going on in my life. I have updates on the job front. I'd like to tell you a little about my ins and outs with the Gateway House of Prayer. I have no relationship updates other than friends I have made. And... I like to read. The end!

Quick photo!

2009-08-19T21:42:00.000-07:00

Dancing with some of the Tater Tots/Lil' Sprouts at Kids of Victory! Funny girls!

Quick Update!

2009-08-19T15:04:00.000-07:00

I am listed as a nanny through TLC for Kids. Families register and undergo an extensive application process and pay to have TLC for Kids find a nanny that is a good match for their family. I did a personality profile, background checks in all the counties I've lived in over the last 10 years, I'll be CPR certifified again, and I had orientation this morning! I picked out 5 families that I am interested in and my profile will be sent out to them today! If they like me they'll call for an interview. If I work for them, we'll sign a contract that establishes all of my responsibilities, my set schedule, my set weekly salary, benefits, etc. So, YAY! I should be placed with a family full time by September 8th at the latest!

Quick Update!

2009-08-17T14:50:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update here! I got a call from the TLC for Kids agency and I have an interview with them Tuesday at 3:30! They are on the ball and I hope things keep moving at this pace! Thank you for your prayers! I thank Jesus for you and I thank Him for who he is and the truth of his promises! :o) Here are some pictures of a little Friday night birthday party at my dad's house!

Prayer about everything is always appreciated!

2009-08-16T11:48:00.000-07:00

This week has been relatively uneventful. I found out that Cotton Babies does not have a position for me at this time. I heard back from one of my references for the Special School District job and he let me know that he had submitted his reference. I went on craigslist.com to check out some postings for nanny positions. A lot of postings referred to this website, tlcforkids.com, and required all interested applicants to fill out an application and undergo a background check before being considered. So I decided to check out that website. I filled out an application and an agency representative called me the very next day! She said that they would love to find a position for me and she'd be calling my references and get back to me soon! So I have some hope on that front!

I got the phone call while I was coming out of the butterfly exhibit at the zoo with my friend Monique. We had an interesting adventure that day! Monique was driving into the city to come see my apartment and then we were going to the zoo together. She was about four blocks away when her car started overheating and smoking. She parked it and antifreeze came pouring out of the bottom! She called me and I came and got her. We went to the zoo anyway because it was a beautiful day and the car needed to cool off. The zoo is a pretty nice setting for making all of those stressful car related phone calls! There are pretty things to look at and the warm sun shining down! So we got to Forrest Park and parked in the lot by the art museum. At the last minute I decided that I didn't want to haul my huge purse with us and thought to leave it in the car. It was at that moment that I went to reach for my keys that I realized I had left my keys in the ignition (off) and locked the car. Wow. Ha! So I guess I'm not leaving my purse in the car, Monique! So I got on my phone and started making some calls! Fortunately my dad and step mom make all sorts of back up plans for worst case scenarios and had me make a spare and leave it at their house as a just in case when I stayed with them. I went ahead and made 2 spares and then left one at the Sipe's house when I stayed there. The Sipe's live about 10 blocks from Forrest Park. I said, "I still have a key to their house, if we could just get a ride there we'd be fine!" Monique said, "Yeah? Where is your key to their house?" I winced and said, "Oh. On my key chain. Locked in my car." She said, "Uh huh. That's what I thought." :-D So Brian Sipe (aka SipeAction) rode his bike out to the zoo and brought the key to me! He said it was a good excuse to get out on his bike for some exercise and I said I was glad I could help!

The zoo was beautiful and sunny and I bought a coke, and you know, they don't give you a straw or a lid and they said it's for animal safety... What the heck?! I mean, I know that litter is a problem but then what? Do the animals get a hold of them and use them as shields and swords? Prairie dog violence is on the rise! Anyway, we left and got Monique's car, put water in and waited. Put more water in and waited. She drove it home and made it all the way there! She pulled in to the mechanic's lot and it overheated and spilled all the water out. So some prayer there is much appreciated! Prayer about everything is always appreciated!

Chalk one up to God's refining fire

2009-08-09T18:00:00.000-07:00

Today was a lazy day. I went to church. I got to share with the whole church about how God just recently healed me from chronic depression! That was exciting! Then I went to my dad's house and ate spaghetti and swam in the pool, but not both at the same time. Yeesh! Then I came home to the apartment to try to work on my paper for class. I haven't gotten a whole lot of work done but it's no problem.

Mostly the "job search" has been occupying my mind. I'm waiting right now. I applied with the Special School District of St. Louis some time ago and have been waiting on HR to get my references back before they are willing to interview me. The lady who wants me for her department would have interviewed me last month, but HR just added a new step to the process. So I have to go through them first. It's slowed things up tremendously. It's really awful being this close to a job and not being able to do anything. So that's the full-time job. "Why not get a part-time job in the mean time," you say? Great idea. I applied at Cotton Babies for a part-time position. I got the job, I think. The last I heard from the hiring people was, "The store manager should call you this week to talk about the job opportunity!" Well, that was 2 weeks ago. Apparently he went out of town. I called a couple times. He should be back tomorrow. The odds of this happening are, like, slim-to-the-will-of-God! I know he wants me to trust him. It's really hard for me to do because somewhere in my heart I believe that he is going to just leave me hanging. I struggle to believe that he has good gifts for me and that he wants to give them to me.

Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.

I found out that my school (Ashford University) offers a new online bachelor's program. B.A. in Early Childhood Education. Not to mention the Master's on Education with a ECE specialization. That would tack on another year, but if it's what I really want to do, time is not going to be a problem. So I'm just throwing that out there. That would be a change from a B.A. in Social Sciences with a concentration in Education and Psychology minor. Now is exactly the right time to make the change, but my advisor has gone M.I.A. I've emailed her twice and called her once. If I don't hear from her tomorrow, I'm calling somebody else. But see! This is what I'm talking about! What are the odds of everybody I need to talk to being unavailable all at the same time!!

So let's chalk one up to God's refining fire and call it a day, yeah? Please let me have learned the lesson I needed to learn because I don't want to go through this again! I trust you! I trust you, Jesus! You are not a man that you should lie, nor a son of man that you repent or change your mind!

So there is nothing new under the sun

2009-08-07T11:54:00.000-07:00

It's a new season! A very new season! It all happened so quickly!
It was August 2008 when I started working at Joplin High School and I loved it!
It was September when my brother Joel started dating Jennifer long distance.
It was December when Joel proposed to Jennifer!
It was January when my sister Lauren gave me a word concerning trusting God and that this was the year for his mercy and favor.
It was February when Joel and Jennifer got married and March when I told the Lord that if he wanted me to move to St. Louis he would have to open all the doors and do it himself!
It was April when I told Lauren I would spend the summer in St. Louis with her.
It was also April when Elias asked Lauren to marry him! I decided to spend the summer there anyway since they decided to get married in July.
It was May when I moved out of my apartment and began to rent the house that my Joplin parents owned but were unable to sell. I started taking on roommates.
It was June when school let out and I packed up my car and drove to my dad's house to stay for a few weeks. Then I stayed at the Sipe's house for a few weeks until after the wedding.
It was July 1st when I decided to stay in St. Louis indefinitely!
It was July 5th that Lauren and Elias were married and when they returned from their honeymoon, I moved in to Lauren's old apartment.

The Sipes: Brian aka Sipe-Action, Katherine, Joel, Ben, Annie, Claire, Nick, Jonathan (Jambo), Princess Elisabeth, Baby Mary-sauraus, The Dave Show, and Super Mom Angela.

Wedding rehearsal! Introducing Mr. & Mrs. Elias & Lauren Preston!

I've been in St. Louis for 2 months. Today is the day that I was supposed to move back to Joplin. I've always had reason for not moving back to St. Louis, whether it was school, work, church, family, lease, whatever. Summer of 2009 God removed all of my reasons! I loved my job but God showed me that there are other jobs. Also my job had let out for the summer and I had opted out of summer school. I did not have a lease and I go to school online so I could keep going even in St. Louis. God ushered me in to the House of Prayer in St. Louis and gave me a place there. He gave me a place to live right away with a great roommate, although I miss the girls at the Webb City house! I am still waiting on him for a job, but he is never late. Though he sure misses a lot of opportunities to be early!

I decided to start a blog in case there are people out there that I don't talk to very much who would like to know what is going on in my life. I would love to tell you! One major huge thing that has happened is that God healed me of chronic depression! I've been off of the medication for about 2 months!

The blog name comes from Ecclesiastes 1:9 That which has been is that which will be, and that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun. That verse is one that has gotten me through some of the most trying times of my life. Just knowing that I am not the first to come to this mountain is so encouraging! Others have gone before me and Christ has led them through, over, around, usually over. It's also humbling knowing that I cannot reinvent the wheel. It's all been done before so it's important not to believe that this situation is totally unique unto me. I should always be seeking the counsel of those who have gone before me.